My First Deer

I have been thinking about how to post this all day. Its affected me.

Here goes:

11/19/2010 - nearly sunrise

I wake up totally rested. I'm head out to my shop (the place where I keep my guns, guitars etc.) and it is still very dark. I have always read about "the first deer" and all the things surrounding such an experience.

For a minute, as the truck is warming up, I kind of mentally read into all of that stuff and wonder how this will be for me....

After all, I am really broke here. I only have the freezer in my refrigerator and the chefs' knives I have used to make a living since before 1999. Also, just a tailgate's knowledge from stories told about bucks of years past and how the hunters of said bucks gutted and cleaned them all in one swoop on this perfect day waaaay back on a cloudy, and always somehow colder than today's hunt. Hmm. Much to consider for someone whom has Steely Dan's "AJA" and Van Halen's "I'll Wait" bouncing around his head at the same time in any moment. (It's almost never silent up there). I feel I'm not prepared and this makes me uncomfortable.

6:45 a.m.

I reach the location of where I plan to hunt. It's just getting to where the visibility is a soft gray outline of landscape and animals at 30 yards. A beautiful sunrise is about to happen. I step out of my truck and spray on this human scent eliminator I bought because I think this will help, load the rifle, tuck my binoculars underneath my bib overalls, pull my cap further over my head because its 20 degrees, and slowly and carefully set out quietly on the west side of a soy bean field.

Looking south I see outlines of deer. They are feeding already. Behind me past the timber line is a pond. I hear ducks quacking and geese shuffling off, further on their migration south. The sun is almost ready for us.

7:00 a.m.

I reach half way to where I want to be and glass (look through my binoculars)- several deer feeding about 100 yards from me. I kneel beside a short patch of brome on the edge of the field. I glass further, checking out what is laid out before me: 2 bucks and 6 doe. I have walked far enough without spooking them. I'm alone. It feels that way so much right now. They don't know I'm there somehow. I glass to the left and then the right, examining the herd. I'm here for a doe- I'm no trophy hunter.

I check out a few young bucks as the sun is coming up to a point where I can actually count their racks. I find the fattest and most mature doe. I look at her for a second or two, and then draw up the rifle. Exhale. Kind of. She is right there and this is the logical and ethical choice. I have never been more certain. Definitely...

I pull the trigger: BANG. It's only me and her. I silently, and in surprise say to myself, "I hit her"?!?.

The rest is between me and her.